Is there anyone more painful to be around than the self-absorbed? Is there anyone nicer to be around than the one who never speaks of themselves but engages with you on a subject other than them? This is self-evident, and clearly speaks to how the human person is wired, to our deep-seated need to commune with one another. One feels abused when in the presence of the narcissist, as though you are there simply to fulfill their incessant need to obsess about themselves with a captive audience present.
Actions which have as their end nothing but self-fulfillment never quite seem to satisfy as much as those which have the community or another person as the subject of interest. Granted, self-development is critical; the difference is in viewing self-development as a means to better serving others and contribute to the human experience overall rather than seeking to feed our ravenous ego in a spiral of conceit.
Comedy relief: Two girls are talking. One is blabbering endlessly about herself, until she seems to realize her error:
“But enough about me. What about you? What do you think of me?”
Mindfulness Meditation is getting a lot of press these days, in large part because neuroscientists can now show how the brain changes in positive ways in those who meditate. This style of meditation consists in keeping one’s focus on something (an object, a word), returning to the object gently each time one’s mind drifts to other thoughts. It’s really quite simple. The challenge is in not judging it while doing it, but simply letting go of thoughts as they arise, no matter what they are (”am I doing this right? I’m so distracted” and so on). Such a discipline has measurable positive results. Of course it is much more natural to turn one’s mind to a person, rather than an object (a candle) or a state (nothingness), and this practice does not work if one simply navel-gazes. The one who practices this art knows the liberating moment when self-forgetfulness is achieved. It feels very much like a gift, meaning it is something received rather than achieved.
The point of all this? The same point as is being made in so many other areas: neuroscience, social networks, religion, psychology…
Fulfilling and healthy human life makes itself about others.
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on Saturday, October 10th, 2009 at 10:17 am and is filed under Social Commentary.
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The Rise of Narcissism
Is there anyone more painful to be around than the self-absorbed? Is there anyone nicer to be around than the one who never speaks of themselves but engages with you on a subject other than them? This is self-evident, and clearly speaks to how the human person is wired, to our deep-seated need to commune with one another. One feels abused when in the presence of the narcissist, as though you are there simply to fulfill their incessant need to obsess about themselves with a captive audience present.
Actions which have as their end nothing but self-fulfillment never quite seem to satisfy as much as those which have the community or another person as the subject of interest. Granted, self-development is critical; the difference is in viewing self-development as a means to better serving others and contribute to the human experience overall rather than seeking to feed our ravenous ego in a spiral of conceit.
Comedy relief: Two girls are talking. One is blabbering endlessly about herself, until she seems to realize her error:
“But enough about me. What about you? What do you think of me?”
Mindfulness Meditation is getting a lot of press these days, in large part because neuroscientists can now show how the brain changes in positive ways in those who meditate. This style of meditation consists in keeping one’s focus on something (an object, a word), returning to the object gently each time one’s mind drifts to other thoughts. It’s really quite simple. The challenge is in not judging it while doing it, but simply letting go of thoughts as they arise, no matter what they are (”am I doing this right? I’m so distracted” and so on). Such a discipline has measurable positive results. Of course it is much more natural to turn one’s mind to a person, rather than an object (a candle) or a state (nothingness), and this practice does not work if one simply navel-gazes. The one who practices this art knows the liberating moment when self-forgetfulness is achieved. It feels very much like a gift, meaning it is something received rather than achieved.
The point of all this? The same point as is being made in so many other areas: neuroscience, social networks, religion, psychology…
Fulfilling and healthy human life makes itself about others.
This entry was posted on Saturday, October 10th, 2009 at 10:17 am and is filed under Social Commentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.